University of Life: July 2011

Living in The Age of Insult

Today, we are living in the age of insult. Anyone can freely and openly insult one another, mostly in the name of telling the truth. The truth is, our population currently evolves to adapt this habit of insult as another nature of life. Although this habit is growing rapidly on today’s web, it had been scavenging the lands for as long as we can remember; and thus it also had evolved into a more carnivorous type.

During this age, when anyone insults you, you are considered weak if you didn’t fight back. You have to argue them and defend yourself from all the negative things they said, and if you could do so until all of them shut their mouth, you are a great man. According to the professionals of this age, it is okay to insult those who had insulted us in means of proving they had done bigger mistake than us and we had done nothing wrong - or only a small, tiny mistake compared to them.

Some would even suggest developing a counter-insult weapon, which consist mainly of the possible insulter’s personal secrets and dark history that would bring shame if known to public. A deadly weapon indeed, but the deadliest of all is none other than The Backstabber itself. The best way to bring down the enemy is by being by their side most of the time and ready to strike, anytime.

Let us be clear of one thing, insulting is not criticizing. They are not even close. Insulting is actions to ruin someone’s reputation upon a group and criticizing are a mean of advice that is direct; as some prefer the term harsh advice. Insults usually come into contact with other people first before it came to the insulted. There are reported cases of open face-to-face insult, and so it is practiced in many organizations. As for critics, the two sides would confront one another and have the will for a better future from the start of their meeting.

Insult is a very good anger-starter. Most of the time, it ended up in a fight either verbally or physically. When our pride is at stake and our great efforts are dummied, it’s not a surprise if any of us suddenly vent out a heavy punch or two, they deserve it.

In these situations, we are greatly urged to take defensive measures. However, answering back is only satisfying for a temporary period, and it actually allows the opponent to win. It is pointless to make anyone who dislikes you to understand. They will give just enough rope to save yourself, but in the end they'll hang you with that same rope.

It is important to remain patient and if you need to talk, talk calmly. Being patience shows strength of character and signals to them you are not that timid. Patience is not losing the ability to be angry; patience is to control your anger instead of it controlling you.

He who angers you controls you. Thus, don’t make your anger cheap. Keep silent. Hold that tongue. And that hand. Negative behavior meets negative behavior won’t produce a positive atmosphere. Just bear in mind, in reality, there are some people that would insult others to make themselves look good and feel good. But if you have to insult others to be happy, there is definitely something wrong with your life.

As insult requires high patience and perseverance, handling critics is another thing. Most people can’t accept raw-critics. Thus, just like raw milk, it had to be processed in order to be taken in easily and confidently. A vital order on critics processing is separation. Separate the critics word by word from the way you hear it and you’ll eventually get their point. Then, after it finishes processing, it’s up to you to eat up the critics or just put them on the table, keep it in view.

In the end, when your colleagues suddenly throw you strings of nasty words and you are still thinking of ‘defending’ yourself, imagine them with two horns on their heads and a tail in their back. Now, you wouldn’t waste your time arguing with that, would you? XD

Allah SWT said in the Quran (Al-Hujurat 47:11) :

"O you who ave believed, let no men shall deride (another) men; it may well be that those (whom they deride) are better than themselves. And no women shall deride (another) women; it may well be that those (whom they deride) are better than themselves.And neither shall you defame one another nor insult one another by epithets (calling offensive nicknames). Wretched is the name of disobedience after (one has attained to) faith. And whoever does not repent - then it is those who are the evildoers."

...i just don't believe that we have to come in

and insult people when we want to change things...

...remember that: the problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard...

Forgiveness

Posted by ﺧﻳﺮﺍﻟﻌﺎﻣﻟﻳﻦ comments (3)

Sometimes I wonder why God created man with limited ability to forgive. I've seen the world that I live in is filled with hatred, selfishness. "He is a filthy man! He took dirty money from people!" (hate). "He did a sin from taking money from other people. I hope he will realise his mistakes one day and may God guide him to the right path." (love). Can ones feel two different feelings from one similar situation? Hate and love.

Human beings always being too judgemental about their and other people's lives. We are living in a world where people do judge us and we judge them. I wish if I could bring love to the humankind, insyaAllah I would. Perhaps there are not many people hold onto their belief firmly.

I believe that all people want to be like the prophets who were forgiving, lovely, kind-hearted, and et cetera but it might because of the worldly temptations and the devils that some people diverted from their right path. Never stop loving!

The phrase "Don't judge a book by its cover!" really struck me over and over. People know it and even say it, but less of them really appreciate it. We as normal human beings can never be apart from judging people. Yup, that's true.

But, it is always up to us to shape our thought about the people around us, our family, friends, and others. It is always up to us to clean up our heart from hatred, bad thought and fill it with love and forgiveness. If we see people who do a bad thing, never say "He is a bad person." because God always give chances to all mankind to ask for forgiveness before we die. So no one is purer than the other. It always depends how do we proceed with our actions.

Are we going to forgive and love? Or are we going to leave and hate?

Allah said in the Quran (Al-Hasyr 59:10) :

"And [there is a share for] those who came after them, saying, "Our Lord, forgive us and our brothers who preceded us in faith and put not in our hearts [any] resentment towards those who have believed. Our Lord, indeed You are Kind and Merciful."